Tag Archives: Aliens

Review: Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut

a6e224bbc4092e7222905bfdcd053ff1While I was on vacation in the Dominican Republic last month, I attempted to read two things. First, I relapsed and tried to struggle through A Clash of Kings after declaring that I didn’t want to read it anymore. I’m sad (happy?) to say that I’m still struggling through it today, and I actually don’t hate it. Second, I got through a book that I’ve wanted to read for a long time by an author I’ve heard amazing things about. I read Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut. I have just one thing to say to sum up my experience:

I AM NOT WORTHY!

Needless to say, I loved it. I won’t lie, I didn’t understand it at first, especially with its quirky beginning and alien abduction scenes. But, *spoiler alert*, once I found out that the main character was suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder following the second world war, something clicked, and I understood the piece for what it was — and I wholeheartedly enjoyed it! And on top of that, it was hilarious.

A lot of criticism for this novel comes from Vonnegut’s disjointed and confusing storytelling, and for the first hundred pages, I would agree with the critics. I was confused as all hell for the first third of the book, and I found myself thinking that I had picked up another 300 pages of overrated crud, but once I understood why this was happening, it became easier to read somehow, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Besides the obvious great storytelling and the layers of symbolism, one question does come to mind, and it is often debated between readers once they’ve finished reading: Is Slaughterhouse-Five an anti-war novel? Sure, the main character fought in world war two, has obvious mental duress, and believes he had been abducted by aliens to live on a foreign planet and mate with a huge movie star, but is this a criticism of war?

To be honest, I’m not sure why this question is being asked. The answer is clear: of course it’s an anti-war novel! Yes, the main character takes a rather neutral stance in regards to his time in world war two, replacing deep sentiments with the phrase “so it goes“, but that in itself is anti-war. This man is irreversibly damaged, numbing himself to great pain and living in delusions in order to escape his horrific past. Sure, nothing Vonnegut writes says “WAR SUCKS” in bold red letters, but he doesn’t need to. The fact that this man is so broken speaks for itself.

All in all, this was a great introduction to Vonnegut’s work, and I am excited to read more. He might even make it up there with some of my favorite greats: Aldous Huxley, George Orwell, Margaret Atwood.

Have you read this book? What are your thoughts on the anti-war sentiment?

You’re Weird. Seriously. Really Weird.

Okay, maybe not just you. Everyone. All humankind (and maybe alien forms, if they exist). There are just certain things that we as human beings do that are frankly just bizarre. I’ve compiled a small list of them below. Proceed to feel awkward.

AwkwardSeal

So awkward. Maybe cute. But mostly awkward.

Kissing

So, you really like someone, right? They treat you well and make you feel good and those sparks are flying, or so they say. What better way to show that person that you’re attracted to them than by mashing your lips against theirs? And hey, while you’re at it, throw in some tongue and saliva!

Who’s idea was that? Don’t get me wrong, I like a good kiss as much as the next person, but can you imagine how weird you look? I mean, recall what others look like when they kiss — and not just a peck, I mean a real, wet, sloppy smooch.

That’s you. That’s how you look. Awkward.

Dancing

If I were an alien from outer space and my super awesome x-ray vision goggles happened to be looking through the ceiling of a dance club, I would be afraid. I would probably take my space ship and get the hell right out of there — right away from whatever that is. We flail around like chickens, virtually hump anything we can get close to, and throw our hands in the air whenever there’s an obnoxious and screeching rise in the music.

And to make it worse, we prepare for this. We spent hours grooming and getting ready to prance around like rabid, semi-conscious animals. To top it all off, once we start, we just can’t stop! Get one of us going, and it’s like a disease. We practically herd ourselves into enclosed spaces in an effort to bump and grind and we do it for HOURS.

In fact, if I were a smart alien looking to invade this beautiful planet, I would just blast the YMCA and wait until the irresistible allure to jump about sets in.

Happy_dance

Easy alien bait right here.

Waiting

Honestly, we are probably the only species on this blessed Earth that does this. When we want something, we wait our turn. Okay, cool: we’re compassionate and rational and no one gets hurt that way. What is painful though is the way in which we do this. We plop ourselves into a location, stand completely still, and stare off into space.

AND THEN, heaven forbid you try to start conversation. If you talk to anyone, you get looks and exasperated sighs. If you’re lucky, you might just get someone to walk away, annoyed and slightly uncomfortable. Because talking to someone when you should just be quietly waiting? That’s just weird.

Stand in silence. It’s more natural that way.

Laughing

Let’s go back to our kissing scenario for a second. This is before then. This is a time before your incessant face mashing (maybe not, but let’s pretend). But something else is happening. Every time that person says or does something amusing, you have this uncontrollable urge to expel air from your lungs and screech like a banshee. Sometimes, the urge is so persistent, you do this many times, getting to the point where you have trouble breathing and tears flow from your eyes.

Another note taken for the alien. Amuse the humans and they’ll become a shrieking, snivelling mess.

—–

I tried to warn you. You’re just weird. Sorry you had to find out this way.

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President of the Weird Club. Yes, that’s my natural hair.