Tag Archives: Children

Gun Range Defends A 9-Year Old Who Shot Instructor to Death: I Don’t Understand.

Posted on August 29, 2014 | 1 comment

We’ve all heard the news and it almost seems pointless to recap, but here’s the run down:

In Las Vegas, a 9-year-old girl (unidentified) was attending something along the lines of gun lessons. While being instructed on how to use a Uzi (which I had to Google an image of in order to understand… #Canadianproblems), the gun got out of control in the recoil and she accidently shot the instructor in the head. The full story with video can be read here. I recommend not watching the video…

Tragic, right? Freak accident, right? I feel bad for the instructor. I feel bad for the instructor’s family. I even feel bad for that little girl. Can you imagine what that must feel like knowing you’ve shot and killed someone in a freak accident? She’ll have to live with that for the rest of her life.

But I must admit, my sentiments echo those of most critics:

WHAT THE HELL WAS A NINE YEAR OLD DOING AT GUN LESSONS?

Screw ballet or swimming lessons, let's teach our daughter how to use an Uzi!

Screw ballet or swimming lessons, let’s teach our daughter how to use an Uzi!

Now, I wasn’t going to write about this. The whole gun vs. no gun thing is an interesting topic, but definitely not something I comment on outside of discussions with friends. And hell, I live in Canada. We’re relatively gun-free in terms of legality, and I like it that way.

But then I read another article. This one includes comments from Bullets and Burgers, the establishment where the incident happened. Surprise, surprise: they evaded responsibility and pulled the “sorry, not sorry” card. How sensitive.

My issue isn’t with the fact that it’s a shooting range and they won’t take liability and yadda yadda yadda. My issue is with the comments they made about the young people (aka CHILDREN) who handle the guns. Here’s an excerpt from the article from the CBC:

“Sam Scarmardo, who operates the Bullets and Burgers shooting range, where the incident happened, defends the practice of allowing children to fire machine guns on his range.

“There’s people younger than 9-year-olds handling AK-47s in the Middle East right now,” he tells As it Happens guest host Peter Armstrong.”

Let’s take a moment and think about this logically. 9 year olds using AK-47s in the Middle East face *perhaps* a different living situation than 9 year olds in Las Vegas. I don’t think it’s unfair for me to say that. 9 year olds with AK-47s in the Middle East probably have other things they’d like to be doing. 9 year olds in the Middle East probably don’t want to be fighting wars where they have to use weapons and they are probably compelled to use them for a variety of reasons which may include, but are not limited to: coercion, a need to protect themselves and others, forced enlistment into a terrorist cell.

I bet a 9 year old from the Middle East would admire a nice, relatively stress-free day enjoying warm weather at Bullets and Burgers. 9 year olds from the Middle East are not afforded the luxury of shooting ranges. THEY LIVE IN A SHOOTING RANGE! And then to defend shooting ranges using 9-year-old CHILD SOLDIERS in the Middle East as a crutch? Disgusting.

A 9 year old should not have a gun. A 9 year old should not be allowed to use a gun in a shooting range, and if we’re going to let her, maybe we should consider letting her drive and gamble and buy alcohol too. Also, I find it ironic that a 9 year old in the US can practice her Uzi shooting skills, yet God forbid she want to enjoy the milk chocolate-y goodness of a Kinder Surprise. Cuz, you know, THAT’S dangerous.

Watch out for the toy in the kinder surprise... It's more dangerous than a gun, you know?

Since when did yummy become illegal..?

I can’t even.

/end rant.

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I Once Thought I was Pregnant

Posted on August 8, 2014 | 4 comments

Most children are gullible. I, on the other hand, was a completely different breed of gullible. I would do anything if you could convince me it was the right thing to do. And trust me, that was not hard. I once ate tin foil because my cousin convinced me that my parents weren’t going to feed me anymore. But that was a meek experience in comparison to some of the other things I believed, so I’ve decided to list a few of them. Embarassing? Yes. Hilarious? Most definitely yes.

Enjoy at my expense.

Pull My Finger

So my father did this thing, as I’m sure most dads do, where he would say “pull my finger”. I would pull, he would fart, we would laugh, bonding moment ensues. But it didn’t just stop there. For the first 6 or 7 years of my existence, I honestly believed that my dad couldn’t pass wind unless I or someone else pulled his finger. Poor guy.

And believe you me, when I found out I could fart without someone pulling my finger, I thought I was the raddest kid around.

I can fart all on my own. Get at me.

I can fart all on my own. Get at me.

You Live Here?

Move aside teachers, I know you don’t live at school. I had a teacher who lived on my street and my mom was best friends with another, so I learned pretty quickly that they didn’t sleep on the desks of our classroom.

But my swimming instructor? He definitely lived in the recreation center. It all started when I asked my level 3 instructor where he lived, and he looked at me right in the eyes and pointed to the supply closet. And as a 5 year old, I believed him. Boy was I surprised when I went to work at that same recreation center ten years later.

Santa Doesn’t Exist… And Neither do Reindeer.

I believed in Santa Claus. I’m not ashamed to admit that. So did you, don’t lie. It was a thing. All the cool kids were doing it. It was the most magical experience of my life.

And then around the double-digits, my parents decided to stop tricking me and helped me avoid the social suicide of being an 11 year old who still believed and militantly fought the opposition (you’re referring to me? No, I didn’t do that).

In any case, such a stunt confused me. Once I sorted out that Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy didn’t exist, I accidentally grouped another childhood fairy tale creature into that pile.

Reindeer. I believed reindeer didn’t exist. I’ll never forget the day someone mentioned them and I turned around like the smarty-pants I was and exclaimed “Reindeer? Are you stupid? Reindeer don’t exist!”

But they do. For the record, they really do.

I was almost seventeen years old.

You don't exist. Sorry, bro.

You don’t exist. Sorry, bro.

The Birds and the Bees

This is perhaps the most embarrassing. I know the reindeer one is ridiculous, but this tops that.

As children, we’re keen to wonder. What is that over there? How does that work? How are babies born? Well, that last one I figured out all on my own. Mom and Dad got into a room, got naked, and just looked at each other. Perhaps they sat in chairs and just stared, I don’t know. Either way, BANG! children. Simple as that.

And then one day, I saw a gentleman naked in a change room at the pool where I took lessons. Let me tell you, it was the most traumatic experience of my young life. Not only had I seen perhaps the most scarring image a 7 year old could see, but now I was pregnant!

What was my mom going to think?

giphy

Luckily I never told anyone about this last one, but I guess I’m telling all you now.

Got any ridiculous things you once believed?

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